It was a lovely community Easter service here in Azle, Texas this year. For the music portion, rather than the worship band we had originally planned (composed of pastors from several churches--a good idea except for the fact that there was only one brief practice scheduled for that unlikely group), we received a call from a friend of ours who has a 25-piece orchestra that does hymns and Christian standards in jazz and swing style. They had had a cancellation for that night and were all ready to play but needing a venue. We gladly obliged. They opened the program with several amazing inspirational renditions of songs like "His Eye is On the Sparrow," and then turned it over to us. Because we wanted to do things with both excellence and inclusiveness, we had worked out an order of service that included all the board members popping up and taking the mic, one with announcements, one with prayer, and yet another to receive the offering--all of this strategically placed around a 20 minute preach. As the best laid plans often do, this one got mixed up and ended up with someone on the mic closing with prayer before the assigned offering person had done her thing. Laughingly, the president of the board interrupted and made the correction and all was well. When the plates were passed, the orchestra began the final song they had planned for the evening. As the mellow tones lilted through the host church's lovely building, I kept thinking, "Could this be?....No, certainly not. Surely, they wouldn't play..." And yet it was, unmistakably revealing itself by its chorus, the song "SEND IN THE CLOWNS." (And you may, like me, remember clearly the refrain, "Where are the clowns; There ought to be clowns...Send in the clowns...Don't bother they're here...")
I was overwhelmed with intrigued amusement as I looked around to see if any of the other attendees "got the joke". Later, I would find out that the orchestra leader had requested permission to include that song simply because of the beauty of its melody, but, at the time, the words that the melody brought to mind were all I could hear, poignantly commenting on our little exercise in group dynamics! As I looked around, I realized that I was alone in my mirth, for few people besides me dared to see the ministerial alliance leaders as "clowns"! I realized then that I was extrapolating the experience to a bigger picture that reaches far beyond that community service.
So many times in church leadership, we fall into the pseudo-messianic complex that manifests itself as over-planning. While any leader worth his salt will put the required time in ahead of an event, we often launch into desperate efforts to administrate, calculate, predict and capture a Kingdom that, by its own Founder's declaration, is clearly not of this world! We don't want to appear unprepared or uninformed...we don't want to be like the guy who rode into the old western town on his horse and said, "Which way did they go? I must find them for I am their leader!" We may end up with a product that looks polished and precise when we "plan the work and work the plan," but I am afraid heaven might at times have another view, one which includes clowns.
This is why business leaders often have struggled in church leadership. They look around them and see what appears to be chaos and feel called to institute the same order that they are accustomed to in the marketplace. More manuals, guidelines and procedures, more ducks in a row...they are sure they have the answers for the church. And, quite admittedly, God does use them to right the undisciplined wrongs when the disorganization is a product of neglect. In that respect we do need what they have to offer, of course. But still, church built by men's efforts alone will always be a comedy of errors (and actually, the same could be said for businesses, though that's another blog about the marketplace).
What you might need to know to keep from feeling bruised at this point is that I wholeheartedly include myself in the ranks of the clowns! Though I am passionately "all about" discerning the hidden order in the holy chaos, I am still a human with a drive that can at any time veer back into command and control. With all my heart, I believe that church leadership is about cooperating with the Kingdom of God as it is emerging from each and every participant, at times I still think I know better what that process should look like. I am a curious mix of overwhelming abandonment to the big picture and administrative want-to that gets in the way of my own vision! I am, unapologetically, one of the clowns. I am laughing at myself!
But here's the kicker: Even though it's so--even though church leaders stumble over their own efforts and performance-orientation so frequently that their walk often "becomes a crawl" (to quote DC Talk), God still says, "SEND THEM IN...THERE OUGHT TO BE CLOWNS!" God, though we wonder at it, has one resource from which to choose leaders, and that is PEOPLE--broken, breakable and sometimes in-the-middle-of-breaking PEOPLE! Leaders are clowns because they are just PEOPLE! We too often fail to realize the extent to which grace has already made up for our human shortcomings and therefore qualified us to lead, serve and minister. It's all by the very grace we preach, though we often refuse to dispense that quantity to our own hearts, especially in matters related to the church.
So, you might breathe a sigh of relief today and join the fraternity (non-gender limited, that is) of the clowns. Have a laugh at your failed efforts and misguided dreams knowing that God smiles upon you like a child trying to cook a meal for a parent. And then, in the midst of that reality, hear God's vote of affirmation strongly in you. He's not saying, "Send in the professionals, send in the experts, send in the strong and polished and perfect..." He is saying, for all those who can receive it, to every situation where the KINGDOM needs to come...SEND IN THE CLOWNS. Just as Isaiah said, "Here am I, send me," when confronted with the life-changing experience of God's glory, you can respond to the call with a completely transparent yeildedness to God as you look up to Him and say, "Don't bother, they're right here..."
1 comment:
Hi Marianne,
Indeed we is! thanks so much for your insight & transparency. I too often am critical of nearly everything / everyone in ministry around me. Then I think that is justified 'cause at least I have accurate self criticism too. Grandiosity! There is no elixer as effective as laughing at the clown that I am afterall.
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