Of Dreams and Tunes

I finally got one--a "giant" iPod like my sons have. I had maxed out the thousand-song capacity of my smaller iPod months ago and just stopped adding new music at all, because to earn the space to add, I had to choose something to remove. I had already axed so many lesser tracks from albums that the choices were becoming impossible. Who can choose between losing a Dylan classic or one of the latest Delirious? tunes? I had bumped up against my tune carrying capacity and only the upgrade could save me.

But, once I got the upgrade, I immediately plugged in the ridiculously long number on the back of the $25 iTunes card I had been holding onto for months and I was suddenly set free in the world of spending and space to store! I thought it would be a great moment for me (it was certainly an anticipated one), but instead, my zeal turned to inertia as I sat overwhelmed. Every genre of music called to me--things I had heard on satellite radio and thought again and again, "I must get that..."--obscure things from my teenage years that, now that I reflect, may have meant more to me than I realized...it was all too much. Rational thought told me that this was only the beginning and I could load songs to my heart's content, but at that moment, I didn't know where to begin. What did I really want?

Then the strangest thing happened. Out of the milleau of David Crowder band, folk rock and 70's possibilities (I already have all Dave Matthews and U2), a memory arose. One of my most pleasant memories is taxi-ing on a British Airways-owned vehicle, whether it be a plane going to or from the gate, or the tram between terminals at Gatwick. In those moments, I am treated to the ethereal voices of women singing opera in soft, lilting harmony. Yes, I bonded with the British Airways music. Something about it made me feel like I was living my dream of world travel and even if my overnight flight had bumped and bounced through stomach-churning turbulence in economy class, those ladies' voices made me feel like I was a first-class passenger. I had made a mental note: must get that music. But how to find such a song? I had no idea.

So, I typed in the only two key words that I could come up with: "British" and "classical". Due to the wonder of information systems, within seconds, I had downloaded the Flower Duet from the opera Lakme much to my amazement. (There was actually an album of classical music from television that included the British Airways designation in the title!) That successful acquisition instantly brought another musical desire to my mind: the thing that is playing when they show the video of the queen's coronation--and that useful designation is all the information I seemed to have on that. So, back to the keyword search I went and typed in "coronation". Lo and behold, there are albums of, wait for it, "coronation music" on iTunes! And once I was presented with the titles, I recognized Handel's Zadok the Priest and presto!

So, this morning at the gym, rather than using my usual work-out accompaniment, I did my cardio to The Flower Duet and Zadok the Priest from my new, expanded iPod collection. It was memorable and surreal.

What is the point? I'm not sure there needs to be one, for it would be enough to celebrate my eccentricity related to this topic, however, a point does strike me. We speak often in the church of buried dreams and desires that God wants to unearth. I wonder how often we believe it. Hope deferred, as the Bible says, really does make the heart sick. We have given our hearts to so many things that haven't worked out. Our sick hearts, when presented with clean slates and asked "What do you want?" often do what my mind did before the endless possibilities of iTunes...they just freeze up.

But, I think God has surprises in store for us in terms of buried dreams. If we would simply dare to intitiate the search--grabbing on to the few key words we seem to have, God--who is even more vast, capable and informed than iTunes--would supernaturally put us in touch with some of the things we have longed for for years. Matt Redman in his song Believer says, "I am a dreamer with some old dreams...let them now come."

We toss away old dreams that haven't manifested, not realizing that God (to whom "manifestation" is not such a big deal) hasn't tossed them. If you have lived through some highs and lows in your Christian life and you still love God, your capacity to hold dreams may have been upgraded like my iPod! Years of trusting God when you couldn't trace him may have expanded you and God may be wanting to download some things into you that will connect with the depths of your being! Go ahead, do the search and let the soundtrack of your life be changed. He's waiting for you in your dreams....

And for me...so what if many of my dreams have a British accent like my song choices? I have long since ceased trying to explain that. Stranger callings and drawings have been experienced in the Kingdom. I continue to feel that across-the-pond connection, though I feel more tied in than ever to my own city, state and nation, satisfied that God knows where we all live!