A: ATOM

I can’t remember the first time in school I saw a representation of an atom, but I’m sure I loved it. The idea that all matter could be broken down into these neat little packages—these orderly building blocks drawn like perfect little solar systems—gave me great comfort. It de-mystified the big, scary world and assured me that there was indeed order, rhyme and reason to it all. Even though I was too young to articulate it, I think I breathed a sigh of relief and appreciation that everything in life orbited neatly around a center point. Many years and two science degrees later, I realize that the neat little drawings were just models—tools commonly used in all branches of science to depict a reality that is beyond easy comprehension. Those electron spheres orbiting on the page (or wooden beads attached to a nucleus by springs in my high school days) are more properly understood as “clouds” of probability! We don’t really have neat orbits around clusters of protons and neutrons: we have instead an increased probability of finding an electron in certain regions of the atom! And the regions aren’t shaped like rings either—they are far more nebulous, billowing and unpredictable! The real atom defies the tidy drawing of my childhood. It is more like a concentration of dynamic energy temporarily cohering and shocking us into the realization that for all matter, solidarity is a bit of an illusion! Many people’s understanding of life throughout the years has shifted like my concept of the atom and the neat packaging of their hopes and dreams has re-emerged looking messy and random. Neat and happy particles in orbits have given way to loose clouds of probability, as if growing up meant realizing that, like the atom, our life planning wasn’t nearly as “solid” as we had once thought! To all of us, I want to shout today: TAKE HOPE! The world may not be as predictable and conquerable as it seemed in our youth, but that only INCREASES the joy and mystery of living! The atom is not less wonderful because it is “messier”! No, quite the contrary—that just makes it even more miraculous! This universe runs on infinitesimally small concentrations of invisible energy that somehow cohere into matter strong enough to gird a skyscraper, fuel a rocket and run a city (or a human body)! Everything really is built out of virtually nothing—and that is simply AMAZING! Yes, our textbooks misled us, but it is good news! The atom is not just a simple building block! It’s a dynamo of energy in flux and flow with its environment! It is miraculously composed--not of certainties--but of probabilities, and yet it is the most dependable thing we can imagine! I am not disillusioned but rather gloriously “illusioned”—inspired inwardly with vivid pictures of this amazing life—a life and world so vast that we require a million models just to attempt comprehension! But in the end, we must always lay our models on the altar and bow the to broader Reality far beyond our comprehension! With a full heart, I can say, I have learned to be EXCEEDINGLY GLAD that my hopes and dreams exist as clouds of probability, like the atom! That means that the possibilities are truly endless and that nothing on this earth—especially no defeat—is as solid, final or definitive, as it claims to be! I love this flexible universe that has its own breathing rhythm and I am inspired by the potential in it every day. (And guess what? It does still orbit around a glorious Center point—One who is exceedingly dependable. That comfort remains and grows!)