Recently, while preparing to speak at a conference, I had a small brain-burn. I had grown quite at ease with the questioning looks among the Christian audiences to which I had been speaking for a couple of years, but I was heading to the U.K. to unload my passion for "Engaging the Culture" on the other side of "the pond." Would I have enough information in my arsenal to help the church there smile at postmodernity in the way that Paul connected with the Mars Hill altar? Had I really grasped the concepts enough to dance through them with ease while a few hundred eyes watched? Was I sure my information was vital enough to take up an hour of precious conference time, and more than that, did I have it prepared well enough so that the listeners would not zone into the boredom-induced oblivion (or depression) that so easily attends Christians dissertations on postmodernism?
Brain-burns can be good, however. It was only when I reached detail overload that the balancing force of my passion went to work for me. Fed up with self-induced pressure to perform, I remembered an encounter from a week before. At a building dedication in our town, I had run into an artist friend of mine whom I had not seen in a long time. As we greeted each other, I had heard myself say to her, "Juliana, look at you: YOU ARE the art!" On that day, she had gathered together a combination of clothing and accessories that had never before collided on a human body, but it worked--and she looked outwardly like an expression of the worlds of creativity swirling inside her! In that moment, it occurred to both of us that I had said more than I had realized: It is not what comes out of our hands that is the "art" of our lives, but what comes out of our essence. We--not what we produce--really are the art! What we create has meaning because it comes from our hearts, our vision, our Kingdom journey...
So, I breathed deeply and felt the inspiration return. I might not be the consummate expert on all postmodern doctrine (now there's a double oxymoron--combining "postmodern" with both "expert" and "doctrine"!), BUT I do have a gleam in my eye when I discuss it! I might not wow the crowd with historical and sociological detail, but I do have a grasp of the anthropology of the spirit! I might not understand all the impending theological pitfalls, BUT I am absolutely in love with the challenge of connecting the divine life inside me with the postmodern party around me and convinced that the truth is both more powerful AND more FUN than anyone ever dared dream! In other words, I realized that, even as a conference speaker, I AM THE ART! And whether I am in Britain, Boston, or Bolivia, all I can do is hang my heart on the gallery wall and let the crowds decide! And there is peace and freedom in that, because no one hangs in a gallery without referencing the Artist! It's really His "gig"!
I believe my own epiphany can be universally applied. Every Christian is the expression of the Artist--every Christian really is the art! Why do we spend so much time and thought-energy trying to change ourselves when our Creator has painted (and redeemed) the masterpiece inside each of us? I went to the U.K. and enjoyed myself immensely as I gave my talk to the most receptive group of listeners ever. They "got it" because I came to them as "art", NOT just information. Whatever you do, whatever challenges you must face, you, too, are the art... Let the brain-burn reveal the brushstrokes of the Creator and laugh as the performance pressure falls away...
For more inspiration, go to Ephesians 2:10 and Psalm 139:13-16
2 comments:
keep up your great ideas!
Perrianne,
I am so glad I found your blog. This finally spoke to me on a higher level. Giving me encouragement in who I am, and how I see the world.
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