Friday, May 04, 2012
Swimming the Hellespont in the Mind
Ah, the wonder of the gym,that amazing place where the mind, desperate to distract itself from the cardio experience, tunes in with interest to interviews and reports on morning news shows that it would otherwise never notice. I can’t tell you how many diverse topics I have absorbed during these “it hurts so good” sessions at the end of my work-outs! But, because randomness is nowhere in God’s economy, I often walk away marveling at how He managed to burst something amazing upon my inner radar from the screens above the treadmills. After all, EVERYTHING serves His purposes! When you live with your inner window wide open, God fills it from every direction! (So sad that we Christians so often live in so much fear of being polluted that we often miss the joy of this “God-everywhere-ness”!)
One particular morning, I happened to glance up and catch just one segment of an interview with the journalist, Lynn Sherr, who had just finished a new book about the sport of swimming (again, not something I would have necessarily paused for if I had been passing through the living room at home—I like the idea of swimming much, much more than the nostril-confounding practice of it!). It seems that Ms. Sherr is the best kind of journalist: the kind that is driven to create a personal experience to incarnate the ideas she is investigating. (They call it “passion,” but it is so much more….)
Lynn Sherr had chosen to follow the tradition that Lord Byron began in 1810 and swim the Hellespont in modern-day Turkey, just as the mythological Leander was romanticized as having done in ancient times. Though the swim is definitely respectable in terms of athleticism, it was the symbolic significance that captured me. The Hellespont, she pointed out, is perceived as the boundary between Europe and Asia. With those words, I was gone. My cardio took on a new energy as I pondered the power of this amazing metaphor: Like Lord Byron before her, this American journalist had dramatically traversed the gap between “EAST” and “WEST”! She didn’t walk it as one would do on a bridge, nor did she row over on a boat: She experienced full-body contact with the turbulence and made it from one side of the physical and ideological gap to the other. Just woman and water—and desire!
As one who was seemingly born with a spiritual quest in my very bones, I have had a lifelong fascination with the East-West divide in the minds of man and in the societies they produce. I was, of course, born in the West, raised in the West and cultured by the West, but it seemed that “Eastern” winds had also always blown through my soul. When the West taught me science, I saw the hand of an invisible Creator through it. When the West told me life was explainable and conquerable, I felt even more love for the wild and mystical. When the West told me to maximize my potential and make sure I achieved success, I somehow wanted to surprise them all by taking a circuitous path to some deeper enlightenment that would confound all their predictions and pierce their calcified imaginations with wonderment and awe!
But all of this fascination was not just about dreaming or exercising some imaginative bent in my nature. It was rooted and fueled in a passion for truth and a deep-seated (and clearly God-implanted) sense that life must be more than prediction and explanation, evidence and material existence. As Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet, “There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.” I wanted to shout it to the Western world: truth is not an idea, but an experience, one which transcends BOTH sides of the brain, both bents of the nature. Truth is where East meets West and the cross of Jesus Christ is the exact coordinate! ( Somewhere amidst all the fear among Christians of eastern religion, there should be at least an interest in understanding eastern modes of thought, for the very culture created to produce the Son of God was an Eastern culture!)
It wasn’t until I read C. S. Lewis’ The Voyage of the Dawntreader , that I found a descriptor for what was brewing deep within me. When I came to the prophecy that the “dryad” had spoken over the character Reepicheep at his birth, I found myself in a most amazing—I would say prophetic—way:
Where sky and water meet,
Where the waves grow sweet,
Doubt not, Reepicheep,
To find all you seek,
There is the utter East.
In Dawntreader, Reepicheep, after quoting the verse, says, “I suppose the spell of it has been over me all my life.” I could say exactly the same.
When I found Jesus, I knew I had discovered the “UTTER EAST” and I found all I sought--not in a definitive way, like a computer print-out full of answers, but rather more like a fractal zoom—one that was constantly and wondrously changing the very nature of the questions involved! I saw that Jesus filled the empty space between subatomic particles, infusing the universe on every level! He revealed Himself to me as the “explanations unnecessary” place where questioning is submerged in just Being and a meta-narrative for it all finally begins to emerge. As He moved into the spiritual sphere inside of me, I watched with joy as the Eastern quest meet the Western questioning and formed a marriage for life!
I obviously celebrate my odyssey of discovery. So, it came (and still comes) as a shock to me to learn that there are Christians who are not “fans” of my journey. I can’t imagine why this living fuel inside me would be anything but pleasant to someone who longs for more of God in their lives. It’s like rock and roll in a world of elevator music! It’s like amazing impressionistic canvases splashed with color in a gallery full of bad, brown attempts at realism! It’s like a rainbow after a grey and cloudy storm…..But, sadly, it isn’t everyone who dares to swim the Hellespont…
And here the analogy grows even more profound. In the Hellespont, two great seas meet: the waters of the Mediterranean flow up and the Black Sea (via the Sea of Marmara) flow down. Because of that, opposing tidal actions are in play, making this narrow and winding body of water one of the most hazardous in the world. Unique turbulence arises here, both on the surface and below, so much so that sailing vessels often choose to wait in anchor for better conditions. The seascape in our minds is no different: there are often eddies of confusion when our logical bearings seem to be undermined by Spirit currents. We may feel that we are being pulled on by opposing forces—a dynamic tension that reason alone cannot resolve! Our emotions may be shouting both “Let go…” and “Hold on,” and we are not sure which voice is the one to follow!
But, no matter how great your fear or resistance, I have to cry out to you that the crossing of the strait is worth the risk. The safe shores of reason will never afford you a full view of the God who spun the planets into orbit. It will only do you only good to see beyond the limitations of your western predictability and embrace some mystery—the edges of Spirit—perhaps for the first time. Does life really have to be that cut and dried for you to live and love it?
Forgive those who promised you a perfectly programmable future and realize that in fact, maybe they were just those who were pausing during their quest to celebrate in Western terms the discovery of the Utter East! It feels like a risky thing to “lean not to your own understanding,” and expose your mental bearings to change, but the rewards are far greater than the physical riches of the Orient that Marco Polo sought and unveiled to an astounded Europe centuries ago! The rewards, when Jesus is directing the swim, are the riches of a spiritual realm!
I have already said that this East/West thing was a lifelong quest for me, so it would be no surprise that the classic cartoon image of digging a hole from the United States all the way through to China once fascinated my youthful imagination. I now realize that China is not “under” the U.S., but it was a perfectly beautiful thing in my consciousness to conceive of a straight line connecting me to such a different and distant place. By age 4, I had already pondered and dismissed the feasibility of actually tunneling (like Wylie Coyote in a Roadrunner episode had done). But still, I was fascinated with the potential of arriving at this mysterious other world of the East. So, in all seriousness, I approached my parents for confirmation on the burning question in my soul.
I asked them which way was east and they pointed to the windowed wall of my bedroom. I then pointed to the windows and said with great urgency, “If I walk that way and don’t stop, will I get to China?” I will pause to say that, had my young dreamer son asked me this, I might have crushed his emerging quest, replying with several reasons why that would be a BAD idea, fearful that he would try to embark on that journey immediately or later in the day after naptime! But, God was with my dear parents as they simply answered, “Yes, you would.” I remember feeling such joy, just to know it was possible. Later I would learn that there were rivers, oceans, mountains and more ocean separating my Texas home from my destination! It didn’t matter at the time: all I needed was the knowledge that I could get there. It is my joy to now share that “yes” with others: you, too, can get there.
Every boundary this important will be the staging place of many battles, and this is true of both the literal Hellespont that Lynn Sherr swam, as well as the mental one that beckons us. Just like the physical strait in Turkey, the ideological gap is also a strategically important place for history to be made. The church can either continue to weigh in with linear explanations and moralism, choosing styles that support a cut-and-dried determinism and proclaiming only outward observances and behaviors as “right”, or it can launch out into the tricky but beautiful waters of change, realizing that there is an unexplored dimension of reality waiting ahead—a realm that God owns and displays readily to those who seek it out. The invisible world is real and it is the HOME, not the invention, of the Christian mind!
The hunger for Spirit abides in us all—it has just been more broadly "permissioned" in Eastern thought. If you goal is just “east”, then maybe you don’t have what it takes to swim the Hellespont, but if you, like me, feel like the call of the UTTER EAST, by all means jump in. And, it must be said, for those of you who feel the need to defend western values, I promise you, no better celebration will be afforded you than the one on the other shore! The “UTTER EAST” is really where the West begins! In the fear of the Lord—that place where one is awed by the intoxicating view of all invisible truth belonging to God—THERE is the beginning of wisdom that involves BOTH sides of the brain. All roads meet in Him and all searches end there. He is the UTTER EAST. Swim the Hellespont in your mind with joy.
Saturday, April 07, 2012
ACROSS THE UNIVERSE
http://youtu.be/cAe1lVDbLf0
Rufus Wainwright – Across the Universe
“Across the Universe” was deep in the category of songs I put in “time-out” when I first became a Christian due to its Sanskrit guru-talk and dreamy, druggy feel. At the intense urging of some fire-breathing preachers, I had become convinced that I should cleanse my spiritual palette of all artistic influences that were not overtly proclaiming the Gospel. Years later, when I began to realize that God could actually show Himself through those who did not yet know Him, I began to purchase on digitally re-mastered CD much of the music from the 33 1/3 LP’s I had once destroyed. Still, however, songs like “Across the Universe” remained in a gray area (along with things like Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon”).
Then entered XM Satellite radio in our cars and the discovery of “classic rock” stations that beam a steady stream of songs from those ground-breaking years mysteriously into our local driving experiences all over America! Not only have some of these songs from the gray areas occasionally bathed my heart in the thoughts of God, but it even seems that the timing of the playlist is available to heaven’s orchestration, as if the satellite beaming them down is just a marionette with controls attached far higher than the skies!
One day last year, I was making the five-minute drive from my home to a community gathering that was an attempt to draw all denominations together around the “Father-Heart of God”. These multi-church experiences had become painful for me, as I had spent a year investing myself as president of the Ministerial Alliance, naively wondering why my passion and vision hadn’t translated into “results” (or even attendance) only to later realize that in fact my gender was the only problem, but what a big problem it was. I’ve never wanted to make women’s rights in the Kingdom a bandwagon or even a topic, but some folks from the other opinion were still making it so! I was feeling deeply the irony of going to hear about the Father’s Heart in a context that had recently slapped a dose of the opposite experience on my little dreamer-soul! Right into the middle of my angst, XM satellite radio inserted Rufus Wainwright’s version of “Across the Universe”—I didn’t have to buy it and commit to the Sanskrit sentiment—it was just there filling my car, and ME.
I wept as I realized the multi-layered message God was sending in the five-minute drive. Though the handful of folks who had shunned me for being a woman in a “man’s position” would also deny me the joy of hearing from God through this “secular” (even false-religion filled) song, God would not be stopped by any human barrier. As Rufus Wainwright sang out the Lennon lyrics, I could feel God saying to me, “Perrianne, I’m coming to you from across the universe to remind you that I made you and I understand you, and I am able to work in you in images and streams and swirling hope beyond words. I am able to conduct the symphony of sound and light inside you and orchestrate it into a beautiful piece of art. I didn’t call you to be understood by all—I called you to demonstrate a realm beyond the naturally ‘understandable’ and I am with you!” Pretty good dose of the Father’s Heart in the car before the meeting—one which got me through the meeting itself!
However, there was one sticky point: there was still the cringe factor provided by the Sanskrit words. What was God’s take on those, I wondered? Did He turn off His heavenly advocacy and communication during this unfortunate departure, where John Lennon waxed more pagan than usual? Did He—as I do during scenes in movies--look the other way for a moment until the “bad part” passed? The Beatles’ tryst with transcendental meditation and pilgrimage to India was obviously an attempt to fill a spiritual void, but surely the inclusion of a mantra in the middle of a song was too "syncretous" to be infused with God’s Spirit!
Crusader/confronter/investigator that I am, I couldn’t wait to Google the lyrics when I got home. Thanks to my new best friend Wikipedia, I discovered that the Sanskrit words that form the link to the chorus can best be translated, “glory to the shining remover of darkness,” or “Victory to God divine.” I marveled, realizing that, even if the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi was using them to laud a human guru (and our stomachs turn at the thought of the idolatry), the accolade expressed rightly—and ONLY--belongs to our God. There is no shining remover of darkness that comes close to the God of the universe who revealed Himself through Christ. Amidst the haze of Eastern hippie confusion, a redemptive possibility EVEN FOR THE MANTRA appeared. What does God do with a line like that in a song? The same thing He has always been doing: sends forth His Spirit in the earth with the mission to display the riches of Christ that answer the deepest cries in search of another realm—separating from the picture the droll and limiting realities put there like boulders by the religious and narrow ideas of men—the things which obscure God’s ownership of the shining removal of darkness!
Next I discovered the video (link above) which features a very young Dakota Fanning as if she is walking through a three-dimensional Rene Magritte painting! Although it would be a mistake to be over analyze a video like this, I must admit that the drably dressed unsmiling men suspended in the atmosphere seemed to shout out the ugly structures of religion and narrowness that were causing me pain, and I too readily felt like the little girl with a balloon walking through it all trying to trace the path of the song. At the very end, the release of the balloon moved me deeply and I wept again.
I can walk through this jungle of misguided worship (sometimes the Christian stuff seems more incomprehensible than Sanskrit), just marveling and observing like little Dakota Fanning. I don’t have to engage—I can just trace the song, follow the Voice, and feel the comfort of heaven. But there are times and places along this journey where a “letting go” will be in order. Can I trust the “balloon” of my hopes and dreams—the precious things of my heart—in an atmosphere where people are looming large floating above, waiting to criticize and condemn? Surely I better hold on and keep things close—I trust God, of course, but I had better wait for a better time to release what is inside me, right? There’s a better environment than the Bible belt of Texas—New York City maybe? England loves me, yes, they LOVE me in England….. (She repeats over and over and then gets hold of herself once again….!)
“No my dear,” God seems to be saying with a gleam in His eye, even as I write this now. “There will never be a perfect atmosphere to release what is inside you. The time is now and the place is where I put you. It turns out that you are not speaking to the immediate surroundings alone. The wisdom in MY global economy is in play here and the orchestration of my Spirit far transcends whether people switch on the applause sign immediately or not! You are on an odyssey of discovery and My Hand is guiding you---from across the universe! You can let go because I AM the glorious and ONLY remover of darkness. I choose to go for the big things, and though I comfort you in your temporary rejections, they don’t stop Me! And with regard to the place inside where you and I journey together—My heaven meeting your earth in surprising ways—the communion made possible by redemption—the filling of the void that all things Eastern seek but fail to fill---regarding that inner sanctum of spirit: NOTHING’S GONNA CHANGE THIS WORLD…. Go ahead and let go…It is safe…I am here….”
Though this is all very personal to me, I share it here in hopes that it connects to someone else out there—perhaps a disenfranchised dreamer or two. Fifteen years ago, a man prophesied to me that there were indeed others out there who were “just like me”….(be afraid, be very afraid…) It’s time for us to release what we have into the atmosphere and trust the God who paints with color and continually surprises us with the unlimited access His Spirit has to the things religion has told us are off limits. What is He saying to you from “Across the Universe?” Maybe you want to watch the video once more...and think about letting your red balloon go, too…. It IS worth enduring the pain…pools of sorrow do turn to waves of joy...in God....
Rufus Wainwright – Across the Universe
“Across the Universe” was deep in the category of songs I put in “time-out” when I first became a Christian due to its Sanskrit guru-talk and dreamy, druggy feel. At the intense urging of some fire-breathing preachers, I had become convinced that I should cleanse my spiritual palette of all artistic influences that were not overtly proclaiming the Gospel. Years later, when I began to realize that God could actually show Himself through those who did not yet know Him, I began to purchase on digitally re-mastered CD much of the music from the 33 1/3 LP’s I had once destroyed. Still, however, songs like “Across the Universe” remained in a gray area (along with things like Pink Floyd’s “Dark Side of the Moon”).
Then entered XM Satellite radio in our cars and the discovery of “classic rock” stations that beam a steady stream of songs from those ground-breaking years mysteriously into our local driving experiences all over America! Not only have some of these songs from the gray areas occasionally bathed my heart in the thoughts of God, but it even seems that the timing of the playlist is available to heaven’s orchestration, as if the satellite beaming them down is just a marionette with controls attached far higher than the skies!
One day last year, I was making the five-minute drive from my home to a community gathering that was an attempt to draw all denominations together around the “Father-Heart of God”. These multi-church experiences had become painful for me, as I had spent a year investing myself as president of the Ministerial Alliance, naively wondering why my passion and vision hadn’t translated into “results” (or even attendance) only to later realize that in fact my gender was the only problem, but what a big problem it was. I’ve never wanted to make women’s rights in the Kingdom a bandwagon or even a topic, but some folks from the other opinion were still making it so! I was feeling deeply the irony of going to hear about the Father’s Heart in a context that had recently slapped a dose of the opposite experience on my little dreamer-soul! Right into the middle of my angst, XM satellite radio inserted Rufus Wainwright’s version of “Across the Universe”—I didn’t have to buy it and commit to the Sanskrit sentiment—it was just there filling my car, and ME.
I wept as I realized the multi-layered message God was sending in the five-minute drive. Though the handful of folks who had shunned me for being a woman in a “man’s position” would also deny me the joy of hearing from God through this “secular” (even false-religion filled) song, God would not be stopped by any human barrier. As Rufus Wainwright sang out the Lennon lyrics, I could feel God saying to me, “Perrianne, I’m coming to you from across the universe to remind you that I made you and I understand you, and I am able to work in you in images and streams and swirling hope beyond words. I am able to conduct the symphony of sound and light inside you and orchestrate it into a beautiful piece of art. I didn’t call you to be understood by all—I called you to demonstrate a realm beyond the naturally ‘understandable’ and I am with you!” Pretty good dose of the Father’s Heart in the car before the meeting—one which got me through the meeting itself!
However, there was one sticky point: there was still the cringe factor provided by the Sanskrit words. What was God’s take on those, I wondered? Did He turn off His heavenly advocacy and communication during this unfortunate departure, where John Lennon waxed more pagan than usual? Did He—as I do during scenes in movies--look the other way for a moment until the “bad part” passed? The Beatles’ tryst with transcendental meditation and pilgrimage to India was obviously an attempt to fill a spiritual void, but surely the inclusion of a mantra in the middle of a song was too "syncretous" to be infused with God’s Spirit!
Crusader/confronter/investigator that I am, I couldn’t wait to Google the lyrics when I got home. Thanks to my new best friend Wikipedia, I discovered that the Sanskrit words that form the link to the chorus can best be translated, “glory to the shining remover of darkness,” or “Victory to God divine.” I marveled, realizing that, even if the Maharishi Mahesh Yogi was using them to laud a human guru (and our stomachs turn at the thought of the idolatry), the accolade expressed rightly—and ONLY--belongs to our God. There is no shining remover of darkness that comes close to the God of the universe who revealed Himself through Christ. Amidst the haze of Eastern hippie confusion, a redemptive possibility EVEN FOR THE MANTRA appeared. What does God do with a line like that in a song? The same thing He has always been doing: sends forth His Spirit in the earth with the mission to display the riches of Christ that answer the deepest cries in search of another realm—separating from the picture the droll and limiting realities put there like boulders by the religious and narrow ideas of men—the things which obscure God’s ownership of the shining removal of darkness!
Next I discovered the video (link above) which features a very young Dakota Fanning as if she is walking through a three-dimensional Rene Magritte painting! Although it would be a mistake to be over analyze a video like this, I must admit that the drably dressed unsmiling men suspended in the atmosphere seemed to shout out the ugly structures of religion and narrowness that were causing me pain, and I too readily felt like the little girl with a balloon walking through it all trying to trace the path of the song. At the very end, the release of the balloon moved me deeply and I wept again.
I can walk through this jungle of misguided worship (sometimes the Christian stuff seems more incomprehensible than Sanskrit), just marveling and observing like little Dakota Fanning. I don’t have to engage—I can just trace the song, follow the Voice, and feel the comfort of heaven. But there are times and places along this journey where a “letting go” will be in order. Can I trust the “balloon” of my hopes and dreams—the precious things of my heart—in an atmosphere where people are looming large floating above, waiting to criticize and condemn? Surely I better hold on and keep things close—I trust God, of course, but I had better wait for a better time to release what is inside me, right? There’s a better environment than the Bible belt of Texas—New York City maybe? England loves me, yes, they LOVE me in England….. (She repeats over and over and then gets hold of herself once again….!)
“No my dear,” God seems to be saying with a gleam in His eye, even as I write this now. “There will never be a perfect atmosphere to release what is inside you. The time is now and the place is where I put you. It turns out that you are not speaking to the immediate surroundings alone. The wisdom in MY global economy is in play here and the orchestration of my Spirit far transcends whether people switch on the applause sign immediately or not! You are on an odyssey of discovery and My Hand is guiding you---from across the universe! You can let go because I AM the glorious and ONLY remover of darkness. I choose to go for the big things, and though I comfort you in your temporary rejections, they don’t stop Me! And with regard to the place inside where you and I journey together—My heaven meeting your earth in surprising ways—the communion made possible by redemption—the filling of the void that all things Eastern seek but fail to fill---regarding that inner sanctum of spirit: NOTHING’S GONNA CHANGE THIS WORLD…. Go ahead and let go…It is safe…I am here….”
Though this is all very personal to me, I share it here in hopes that it connects to someone else out there—perhaps a disenfranchised dreamer or two. Fifteen years ago, a man prophesied to me that there were indeed others out there who were “just like me”….(be afraid, be very afraid…) It’s time for us to release what we have into the atmosphere and trust the God who paints with color and continually surprises us with the unlimited access His Spirit has to the things religion has told us are off limits. What is He saying to you from “Across the Universe?” Maybe you want to watch the video once more...and think about letting your red balloon go, too…. It IS worth enduring the pain…pools of sorrow do turn to waves of joy...in God....
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Times Square Moment
Years ago, when I read George Harrison’s description of India, it connected to something I felt deeply about God. He said, “India is an assault on the senses.” God Himself is that to me—and then some—but definitely in a good way! I had often (and pardon me John Denver fans) lamented that the love song “You Fill Up My Senses” was so mellow and sweet because it actually expresses this for me—minus a few million watts of power! To be filled with God is to have a window open inside (in the software metaphor, not the house one) that is continually taking in the grandeur and beauty of the simple, daily processes of life and living with worshipping wonderment. From childhood, I have carried that sense of awe regarding the created world—molecule to mountain—and it has never left me. I suppose that is why, in my own creative endeavors, it is that kind of sense-assaulting moment that I seem to be going for! For instance, even the simple act of placing a group of art objects on a wall, for me becomes the creation of a mini-panorama which will richly drip inspiration for its viewers! (OK, at least some viewer…) After I have hung them all according to my inner vision, I walk away with my back turned, placing a good distance between myself and the wall, and then suddenly spin around as if to take it in visually for the first time. If the beauty of the arrangement does not meet some inner threshold value, I’m back tweaking until the effect has passed from a good idea into an inspired one! (My friend, Ben Hodgson describes this personality as “helplessly creative.”)
One day before our recent (and first) New York City adventure, in which we had only 48 hours to take in the capital of the world, a college professor we met at Jack and Trish Groblewski’s church in Pennsylvania said to us, “I’m not a big fan of the hubbub of the city, but I do recommend that you sit on the lighted steps in Times Square at night—it is a must see.” I filed the comment and thanked him, with a disclaimer flagging it as coming from someone who did NOT want to imbibe New York City through their very pores like I did! Besides that, Jack, who was giving us a ride to our NYC hotel, also gave us a very generous orientation session to the city, complete with inspirational AND realistic advice for our impossible 48-hour task! We needed nothing more but a spirit of adventure and a large supply of cash! However, when we got to Times Square, we did remember the professor’s advice and I laugh now to think that his understated endorsement for the lighted steps turned out not just to make a memory, but create a living metaphor.
We arrived in NYC mid afternoon and did a very classic thing first, seeing that our upscale air-miles-paid-for upper west side hotel was just a block away from it: we strolled through Central Park! I had dreamed about it as a little girl and even wrote a song about at the age of 8. It fully delivered! Then, after dinner at a pub on Amsterdam Avenue, where we were partaking and purchasing as much of the “vibe” as the actual food, we embarked, following Jack’s tutelage, on our first New York taxi ride. Proudly sporting our Texan naiveté, we hailed a cab, plopped in the back seat and stated, “Times Square, please!” The driver spoke back some clarifying words about our choices of intersection for drop off, but failing to understand him, we just said, “Yes.” The route he chose that provided me my Times Square first view turned out to mimic my wall arranging technique. He must have driven past Times Square on the street we were already on which was a few blocks away and then turned and approached it from the side, so that when we came upon it and I turned my head, the view would register on my senses all at once, just as if I had had my back to it and suddenly spun around! I was fully unprepared for what followed as tears began to roll down my cheeks in response. I held Paul’s hand as if I were personally being given all that I saw to be my own—without any questioning or analysis of the emotion I felt! (I think Paul may have felt it too, but I was taking up all the oxygen in the cab and there was none left for him to express his response!)
I cannot explain what this man-made festival of power, commerce and technological expression made me feel in that moment. It both overwhelmed me and called me into it. I wanted to both run away and run into the very middle! And I really thought there were probably no lumens available back home in Texas at that moment, as it seemed that all the light energy of the very planet had been pulled by the sheer force of corporate desire right into midtown New York! (And all the while, in the deep space of my heart, I was marveling at a Creator who had made such power available to man—a Creator whose generosity in sharing Himself, even unacknowledged, with those made in his image was the only thing that had facilitated this display!) I was pretty sure that I had just challenged the cab driver’s affinity for Texans if he had any, but I could not help myself nor did I care!
We exited the taxi and began to walk, taking in the Letterman theatre and stopping to post evidences of our presence there on Facebook, to which our very clever friend, Matt Summers, promptly replied, “Is this anything?” We then rounded a corner and found Times Square church and stood outside and read the poster that outlined its history: In the 60’s, David Wilkerson had walked around the Times Square area, crying out to God about the gangs, drugs and prostitution, declaring that someone must do something about it. God responded, as He often does to the person feeling the need, “How about you? You know the city!” And the rest is history. That theatre-like church, like a Mars Hill sermon declaring the altar to the unknown God, now stands amidst a place radically different—radically cleaned up—from the one that first troubled David Wilkerson! The Gospel—the one proceeding from the Creator of the lumens and the ability to harness them—had changed the place—whether or not the place knew it! Though Times Square Church is not ancient or even pretty at least from the outside, it felt as if we were honoring a beautiful holy place of the past.
After that “selah” moment, we made our way back to the center of Times Square and followed the professor’s instructions. We came upon the lighted steps from behind and at first couldn’t see the red layers inviting everyone upward. Once in front, we turned and climbed them almost the top and, though the steps were full, found a little clearing just for the two of us—and we sat! (It seems you have to sit.) And in that moment, the full force of the first viewing of Times Square began all over again. I could have sat for hours and, though I am never in want of dialogue with my husband, there was no need to speak. In all the hubbub, noise, color, and crowd, the lighted steps were an amazing island of peace—just as Central Park had been earlier in the day. I began to realize that I was sitting in a place I had only seen images of all my life: in movies, on New Year’s eve, and outside the morning shows’ studios where people from all over the world gathered with signs in an effort to get on camera. All my life, I had viewed Times Square second hand, but now I was sitting there taking it in with my own eyes and letting it be a DIRECT assault to MY senses—and it was filling them up. The distance was removed and I sat emotionally naked before a greater view of man’s mixed bag of dreams, desires and even some debauchery, than I had ever been before. Ironically, I looked to my left and one of the HD message boards—a huge one, but weren’t they all—was sporting a ticker tape of poignant inspirational quotes about facing fear and overcoming the hesitance that keeps us from really living!
Only later, on a Sunday morning, did the lighted steps moment come fully home to me, providing a “story” for my journey (and perhaps yours) that I will never forget. My husband was proclaiming, as he is gifted to do, the huge scope of redemption that Jesus purchased for us. It is, Jesus said, the Father’s good pleasure to give us the Kingdom! This is not a one-day promise reserved for the other dimension of existence we call heaven, but rather a promise for all times, for the Kingdom comes in appropriate form on both sides of that life and death line! Because He gave us the Kingdom through Jesus and the redemption He provided for us, the Kingdom is ours to interact with right now! It is ours in every time and every space! With that thought, suddenly I was back in Times Square on the lighted steps, only it was not the glaring lights of man’s arranging that I was taking in, but rather, I was realizing that there are some lighted steps for each one of us to sit on that have nothing to do with NYC!
Inside our hearts, God is guiding us to a place where he wants to simply sit us down and assault our senses with all that the Kingdom is—all that was provided for us through redemption. He wants to unroll in high definition grandeur a panorama so vast and blinding that it will take many, many sessions to take in! He wants to focus so much of his heavenly illumination energy upon our spirits that we can’t accommodate the view standing up! And in that moment, peace will inform the chaos and we too will see inspirational words scrolling through our inner world—words telling us we can be free from fear—or any other limitation that threatens to dull our zeal or sharpness! There are lighted steps in our hearts and God wants to give us sessions that assault our senses with the panorama of redemption and perhaps bring us to tears!
I realized that, related to the Gospel, so many are like I was before I visited Times Square—they are living through someone else’s ability to record or report the experience! They’ve heard from a pulpit, perhaps even on television, that they are “supposed” to be impressed with God and amazed by what He did in Christ. They have accepted and yearned—and maybe even dreamed about visiting in person. But God wants to remove that distance and give them a face-to-face exposure –filling up their senses in some way—or multiple ways--with Himself. The gentle advice of the professor who didn’t even love NYC was so prophetic. You MUST go to the lighted steps, he had said. Our heavenly Father promises the same fulfillment on a level a million times more intense!
Franz Kafka said, “You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” I believed Kafka’s words years ago when I first heard them because I know the Holy Spirit, whom Jesus proclaimed as the One who would be a tour-guide into, not just the world, but ALL truth! I believe them today because I have lived them. You don’t have to go to Times Square to find lighted steps with a view—just go to your room and expect God to do by His Spirit what he promised to do. If you feel that your experience of God’s power and greatness and your view of redemption have been somewhat second hand, know that change is available. If the spiritual realm for you has been more a performance than a panorama, it is time for an assault on your senses. You will never be the same. A window of awe will open inside you and inform the rest of your living. Your seat awaits. Let me be the professor who not-so-calmly gives you the important travel tip!
One day before our recent (and first) New York City adventure, in which we had only 48 hours to take in the capital of the world, a college professor we met at Jack and Trish Groblewski’s church in Pennsylvania said to us, “I’m not a big fan of the hubbub of the city, but I do recommend that you sit on the lighted steps in Times Square at night—it is a must see.” I filed the comment and thanked him, with a disclaimer flagging it as coming from someone who did NOT want to imbibe New York City through their very pores like I did! Besides that, Jack, who was giving us a ride to our NYC hotel, also gave us a very generous orientation session to the city, complete with inspirational AND realistic advice for our impossible 48-hour task! We needed nothing more but a spirit of adventure and a large supply of cash! However, when we got to Times Square, we did remember the professor’s advice and I laugh now to think that his understated endorsement for the lighted steps turned out not just to make a memory, but create a living metaphor.
We arrived in NYC mid afternoon and did a very classic thing first, seeing that our upscale air-miles-paid-for upper west side hotel was just a block away from it: we strolled through Central Park! I had dreamed about it as a little girl and even wrote a song about at the age of 8. It fully delivered! Then, after dinner at a pub on Amsterdam Avenue, where we were partaking and purchasing as much of the “vibe” as the actual food, we embarked, following Jack’s tutelage, on our first New York taxi ride. Proudly sporting our Texan naiveté, we hailed a cab, plopped in the back seat and stated, “Times Square, please!” The driver spoke back some clarifying words about our choices of intersection for drop off, but failing to understand him, we just said, “Yes.” The route he chose that provided me my Times Square first view turned out to mimic my wall arranging technique. He must have driven past Times Square on the street we were already on which was a few blocks away and then turned and approached it from the side, so that when we came upon it and I turned my head, the view would register on my senses all at once, just as if I had had my back to it and suddenly spun around! I was fully unprepared for what followed as tears began to roll down my cheeks in response. I held Paul’s hand as if I were personally being given all that I saw to be my own—without any questioning or analysis of the emotion I felt! (I think Paul may have felt it too, but I was taking up all the oxygen in the cab and there was none left for him to express his response!)
I cannot explain what this man-made festival of power, commerce and technological expression made me feel in that moment. It both overwhelmed me and called me into it. I wanted to both run away and run into the very middle! And I really thought there were probably no lumens available back home in Texas at that moment, as it seemed that all the light energy of the very planet had been pulled by the sheer force of corporate desire right into midtown New York! (And all the while, in the deep space of my heart, I was marveling at a Creator who had made such power available to man—a Creator whose generosity in sharing Himself, even unacknowledged, with those made in his image was the only thing that had facilitated this display!) I was pretty sure that I had just challenged the cab driver’s affinity for Texans if he had any, but I could not help myself nor did I care!
We exited the taxi and began to walk, taking in the Letterman theatre and stopping to post evidences of our presence there on Facebook, to which our very clever friend, Matt Summers, promptly replied, “Is this anything?” We then rounded a corner and found Times Square church and stood outside and read the poster that outlined its history: In the 60’s, David Wilkerson had walked around the Times Square area, crying out to God about the gangs, drugs and prostitution, declaring that someone must do something about it. God responded, as He often does to the person feeling the need, “How about you? You know the city!” And the rest is history. That theatre-like church, like a Mars Hill sermon declaring the altar to the unknown God, now stands amidst a place radically different—radically cleaned up—from the one that first troubled David Wilkerson! The Gospel—the one proceeding from the Creator of the lumens and the ability to harness them—had changed the place—whether or not the place knew it! Though Times Square Church is not ancient or even pretty at least from the outside, it felt as if we were honoring a beautiful holy place of the past.
After that “selah” moment, we made our way back to the center of Times Square and followed the professor’s instructions. We came upon the lighted steps from behind and at first couldn’t see the red layers inviting everyone upward. Once in front, we turned and climbed them almost the top and, though the steps were full, found a little clearing just for the two of us—and we sat! (It seems you have to sit.) And in that moment, the full force of the first viewing of Times Square began all over again. I could have sat for hours and, though I am never in want of dialogue with my husband, there was no need to speak. In all the hubbub, noise, color, and crowd, the lighted steps were an amazing island of peace—just as Central Park had been earlier in the day. I began to realize that I was sitting in a place I had only seen images of all my life: in movies, on New Year’s eve, and outside the morning shows’ studios where people from all over the world gathered with signs in an effort to get on camera. All my life, I had viewed Times Square second hand, but now I was sitting there taking it in with my own eyes and letting it be a DIRECT assault to MY senses—and it was filling them up. The distance was removed and I sat emotionally naked before a greater view of man’s mixed bag of dreams, desires and even some debauchery, than I had ever been before. Ironically, I looked to my left and one of the HD message boards—a huge one, but weren’t they all—was sporting a ticker tape of poignant inspirational quotes about facing fear and overcoming the hesitance that keeps us from really living!
Only later, on a Sunday morning, did the lighted steps moment come fully home to me, providing a “story” for my journey (and perhaps yours) that I will never forget. My husband was proclaiming, as he is gifted to do, the huge scope of redemption that Jesus purchased for us. It is, Jesus said, the Father’s good pleasure to give us the Kingdom! This is not a one-day promise reserved for the other dimension of existence we call heaven, but rather a promise for all times, for the Kingdom comes in appropriate form on both sides of that life and death line! Because He gave us the Kingdom through Jesus and the redemption He provided for us, the Kingdom is ours to interact with right now! It is ours in every time and every space! With that thought, suddenly I was back in Times Square on the lighted steps, only it was not the glaring lights of man’s arranging that I was taking in, but rather, I was realizing that there are some lighted steps for each one of us to sit on that have nothing to do with NYC!
Inside our hearts, God is guiding us to a place where he wants to simply sit us down and assault our senses with all that the Kingdom is—all that was provided for us through redemption. He wants to unroll in high definition grandeur a panorama so vast and blinding that it will take many, many sessions to take in! He wants to focus so much of his heavenly illumination energy upon our spirits that we can’t accommodate the view standing up! And in that moment, peace will inform the chaos and we too will see inspirational words scrolling through our inner world—words telling us we can be free from fear—or any other limitation that threatens to dull our zeal or sharpness! There are lighted steps in our hearts and God wants to give us sessions that assault our senses with the panorama of redemption and perhaps bring us to tears!
I realized that, related to the Gospel, so many are like I was before I visited Times Square—they are living through someone else’s ability to record or report the experience! They’ve heard from a pulpit, perhaps even on television, that they are “supposed” to be impressed with God and amazed by what He did in Christ. They have accepted and yearned—and maybe even dreamed about visiting in person. But God wants to remove that distance and give them a face-to-face exposure –filling up their senses in some way—or multiple ways--with Himself. The gentle advice of the professor who didn’t even love NYC was so prophetic. You MUST go to the lighted steps, he had said. Our heavenly Father promises the same fulfillment on a level a million times more intense!
Franz Kafka said, “You do not need to leave your room. Remain sitting at your table and listen. Do not even listen, simply wait, be quiet, still and solitary. The world will freely offer itself to you to be unmasked, it has no choice, it will roll in ecstasy at your feet.” I believed Kafka’s words years ago when I first heard them because I know the Holy Spirit, whom Jesus proclaimed as the One who would be a tour-guide into, not just the world, but ALL truth! I believe them today because I have lived them. You don’t have to go to Times Square to find lighted steps with a view—just go to your room and expect God to do by His Spirit what he promised to do. If you feel that your experience of God’s power and greatness and your view of redemption have been somewhat second hand, know that change is available. If the spiritual realm for you has been more a performance than a panorama, it is time for an assault on your senses. You will never be the same. A window of awe will open inside you and inform the rest of your living. Your seat awaits. Let me be the professor who not-so-calmly gives you the important travel tip!
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